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Anxiety, Depression, and Parenthood: The Unseen Weight of Perinatal Distress

Writer's picture: Penny Waller Ulmer, R. PsychPenny Waller Ulmer, R. Psych




Having a baby is often described as stepping into a new chapter of life, but for many, it feels less like stepping forward and more like wading through deep water with no shore in sight. The surface looks calm—you post baby pictures, answer texts with “We’re doing great!”—but beneath, the current of anxiety, exhaustion, and emotional overload pulls at your feet. This is perinatal distress, and it’s far more common—and complex—than people realize.


What’s Really Happening?


Perinatal maternal distress (PMD) isn’t just about “baby blues” or hormones—it’s a tangled mix of anxiety, depression, and stress, often influenced by past experiences, social environment, and life stressors (Ruyak et al., 2022). Studies show that up to 1 in 5 parents experience significant distress during pregnancy and postpartum—but many don’t recognize it for what it is (Pinto & Figueiredo, 2022).


1. Trauma Doesn’t Stay in the Past


For some, parenthood reawakens old wounds. A history of emotional abuse is a significant predictor of perinatal anxiety and depression (Ruyak et al., 2022). If you’ve experienced trauma—whether from childhood, past relationships, or life in general—your brain and body may react to the stress of parenthood differently. Hypervigilance, difficulty trusting your instincts, or feeling emotionally disconnected from your baby aren’t “bad parenting.” They’re survival responses from a nervous system that has learned the world isn’t always safe.


2. The Weight of Unseen Stressors

Parenting doesn’t happen in a vacuum—where you live, how much support you have, and the stress you carry all shape your experience. A study found that women who faced daily discrimination—whether due to race, gender, or economic status—had significantly higher rates of perinatal distress (Ruyak et al., 2022). The idea that stress "just comes with the territory" overlooks a crucial fact: some parents carry heavier burdens than others.


3. The Body Keeps Score (And It Talks Back)

Perinatal anxiety and depression aren’t just emotional struggles—they’re deeply physical. If you’ve felt tension in your shoulders, stomach aches, exhaustion that sleep won’t fix, or a constant tightness in your chest, that’s not random. Your nervous system is responding to stress.


During the COVID-19 pandemic, research showed that parents experienced higher levels of relationship strain and emotional distress compared to pre-pandemic times (Pinto & Figueiredo, 2022). The emotional load wasn’t just in their heads—it affected their sleep, their digestion, and even their ability to feel present with their children.


What You Can Do When It Feels Like Too Much


If this sounds familiar, you’re not failing. You’re reacting—understandably—to an overwhelming situation. There’s no instant fix, but there are ways to lighten the load:


Recognize That Perinatal Distress is Real – It’s not “just hormones,” and it’s not something to push through alone. Acknowledging it is the first step toward relief.


Stop the “Should” Spiral – I should be happier. I should be better at this. I should be grateful. These thoughts pile on unnecessary guilt. You don’t have to earn permission to struggle.


Check in With Your Body – Your nervous system needs just as much care as your mind. Small things—deep breathing, unclenching your jaw, placing a hand on your chest—can help signal safety when everything feels overwhelming.


Seek Out Support That Understands Trauma and Stress – Some therapy approaches, like Sensorimotor Psychotherapy (SP), focus on how stress is stored in the body. If talking about feelings feels impossible, SP works through movement, breath, and awareness—helping release tension in ways words alone can’t.


Redefine What Strength Looks Like – Strength isn’t doing everything alone. It’s knowing when to ask for help. Connecting with even one person who truly listens—whether a friend, partner, or therapist—can make all the difference.


You Are Not Alone in This


If perinatal anxiety, depression, or stress is pulling you under, there’s a way back to the surface. The exhaustion, the guilt, the emotional fog—they don’t have to define this chapter of your life. You deserve support. You deserve relief.


And most importantly? You are not alone.




Resources (as of the date of publishing): Experiencing perinatal anxiety is a common challenge for new mothers, but support is available in Edmonton, Alberta. Here are some local resources that can help:

 

1. Alberta Health Services (AHS) – Postpartum Depression Resources

AHS provides information and support for postpartum depression and anxiety. They offer access to mental health services and support groups in the Edmonton area. For immediate assistance, you can contact the Mental Health Help Line at 1-877-303-2642.

 

2. Access 24/7 – Adult Intake Services

Located at Anderson Hall (10959 102 Street), Access 24/7 offers mental health assessments and referrals for adults, including new mothers experiencing perinatal anxiety. They provide walk-in services and can connect you with appropriate support. For more information, call 780-424-2424.

 

3. Women's Resource Centre – Lois Hole Hospital for Women

This center offers resources and support for women's health, including mental health services during the perinatal period. They can provide counseling and connect you with support groups tailored for new mothers. To learn more, visit their website or call 780-735-6785.))

 

4. Summit Counselling Services – Adjusting to Motherhood Group

Summit Counselling Services offers group therapy sessions specifically designed for new mothers dealing with postpartum depression and anxiety. Their "Adjusting to Motherhood" group provides a supportive environment to share experiences and learn coping strategies. For details on upcoming sessions, visit their website or call 780-217-4665.

 

5. Postpartum Support International (PSI) – Alberta Chapter

PSI offers support and resources for individuals experiencing perinatal mood and anxiety disorders. In Alberta, you can connect with local PSI volunteers who can guide you to appropriate services and support groups. To get in touch, visit their website and complete the contact form.

 

 8. Family Resource Networks

The Government of Alberta's Family Resource Networks offer various programs and support groups for parents, including those dealing with perinatal anxiety. Services may include counseling, peer support, and educational workshops. To find a network near you, visit their website.

 

Remember, reaching out for help is a sign of strength. These resources are here to support you through this challenging time.


References


Pinto, T. M., & Figueiredo, B. (2022). Anxiety and depressive symptoms, and positive and negative couple interactions among postpartum mothers and fathers before and during the COVID-19 pandemic. Families, Systems, & Health, 41(2), 160-167. https://doi.org/10.1037/fsh0000765


Ruyak, S. L., Boursaw, B., & Cacari Stone, L. (2022). The social determinants of perinatal maternal distress. Journal of Rural Mental Health, 46(4), 277-284. https://doi.org/10.1037/rmh0000212


Sensorimotor Psychotherapy Institute. (n.d.). What is Sensorimotor Psychotherapy? Sensorimotor Psychotherapy Institute. Retrieved from https://www.sensorimotorpsychotherapy.org


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